Weighing on My Heart

Last night, Noelle and I had a pretty intense planning time for Cambodia.  It was great, but setting your independence aside when you get married is a daily decision...catch my drift?  You guessed it -- we both had our ideas of how something should flow, and conflict came crashing down.  After working through our little disagreement, we moved on - thinking about newsletters, support, strategy, cause - we found ourselves thinking about our next season of life.  It was such a rewarding evening and reminded us of how close Cambodia is.  In fact, it's creeping up so quickly that my palms get a bit clammy thinking about it.  I just can't believe it sometimes!  Noelle and I are leaving everything behind to live out the best for us.  We've been preparing our move to Cambodia for what seems like forever!  The truth is, we got engaged with the understanding that America was a temporary home for us.  The reality of long nights thinking through decisions, praying, contemplating wisdom and faith is on our doorstep. The move is nearly within reach.  I was even looking online for one-way tickets - how crazy is that!

Can you tell a few things are on my mind?  Well, I don't want to tell you about my fantasies of going off the beaten path to find a King Cobra, dropping by villages to visit orphans or even counseling young men.  I want to tell you what's weighing on my heart. One point of contention before we got started last night was a talk about our "cause."  I found myself being superficial in my responses and not really communicating the breadth of my heart.  I got to thinking and wondering: why do I respond superficially sometimes, especially when discussing deeper ideas?  Don't get me wrong, my heart is sold on the idea of restoring the brokenhearted, proclaiming Jesus' name, and equipping young leaders...but I need to know why.  Is it only because God has commanded me to go? Am I just being obedient?  Originally, that was it for me and the extent of my thought process.  Today, I've been mulling through our discussion last night and this is what I concluded.   

Not only am I being obedient to what the Lord has commanded us to do, but I'm longing for HIS heart.  He so desires to have relationship with the Cambodian people, to see them set free from sin and bondage, to see them restored and following Him.  I believe sometimes that we can get too caught up in strategy, logistics and planning that we leave the heart out.  In retrospect, I consider myself warned.  I can't let that happen.  I have passion and I want people to see it all the way to my heart.  My desire is that you see God's heart in me for the Cambodia people.  Oh how I can't wait to spend my life in a place where there is a need beyond belief for truth, love and restoration.  I count it a privilege!

My question for you: what's your cause?  Are you ignoring the unadulterated passion the Lord has placed in your heart?  

 Isaiah 61:1-2

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn...

 

Jacob